goldfish★spirit

princecanute:

"so do you have a boyfriend?"

I begin to sweat, fumbling. I’m trying to shove them back into my pockets but it’s too late. thousands upon thousands of pictures of godzilla spill from my hands and into the floor, covered in kiss marks. there are so many.

0shawotting:

slurpuffs:

not all men

are as addicted to carpet as i am. i rub different textures of carpet all over my body. i smell the fresh new carpet smell and feel myself get excited. i work day and night to collect different types of carpet from wherever i am. i sleep with a carpet pillow i have made by hand. i wrap myself in a cocoon of carpet and feel myself merge into the fabric, becoming one…  

dactro:

conigliomannaro:

dyamirityofthelord:

lucisensitivesatan:

trategos:

boyfriend or girlfriend requirements:

  • you have to kill the spider

but spiders are cute and innocent! it should be:

  • you have to catch the spider and release it in the garden

okay

boyfriend or girlfriend requirements:

  • just get that spider away from me i don’t care if you send it to italy just get it away

DO NOT SEND THE SPIDER TO ITALY

you’re right

we will send it to france

image

staff:

Everyone with a top hat is now marked for account deletion. This is the only way we could destroy this horrible website. Happy April Fools day.